Why and what to tell others about your abuse

Why and what to tell others about your abuse


An abuser stalker will not only stalk you but will also harass, manipulate and target friends and family of the victim. They will follow friends and family social networks, they may contact them (often pretending to be someone else) to try to get information about a victim or to spread rumours.

Why do you need to tell others?

  • If your friends, family or work colleagues do not know about your abuser or do not understand the seriousness of the situation, they could provide them with information used to hurt you.
  • If they know you are being targeted they are more likely to notice something suspicious e.g. a neighbour may notice someone watching your house.
  • They can help you gather evidence
  • They can give evidence if a case goes to court. They can testify not only about specific incidents but the effect that it has had on you. This could help improve chances of prosecution.
  • They can help change the work environment or the ways you socialise to increase your security and avoid contact with your abuser
  • The support they offer will help you deal with your situation.

 What do you tell them?

  • You don’t have to go into details about your relationship with your stalker or what has happened. Make clear statements:
    • There is a person who is obsessed with you
    • They have been told to stop contacting you but they have refused
    • It has been reported to the police
    • The situation is making you feel very unsafe
    • Tell them not to approach or contact the stalker
    • Give them the name and a description or picture of your stalker.
    • If know any alias, email, phone numbers or profiles or license plate numbers then provide those as well

 What can they do to help?

  • If the abuser contacts them ask them to save any evidence such as text or emails.
  • If they suspect the abuser has called or calls them ask them to note the date and time. Also to write a brief description of conversation.
  • If they suspect they are talking to your abuser should immediately hang up. But they should inform you and make a note of the date and time.
  • If the witness anything suspicious ask them to contact you.
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Online Dating? Read our advice

Online Dating? Read our advice

Get Assertive!

Get Assertive!