Advice for Stalking Victims using Facebook

Advice for Stalking Victims using Facebook

Facebook is not private - ever!

Today, it encourage users to share their information not only to friends but friends of friends and others. It brings Facebook into the arena as Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

The difference is that Facebook users started with users being able to share information privately. People often don't realise how much it has changed and how much more open your profile and information is today than it was just a few years ago.

At the end of 2012, and again at the beginning of 2013, Facebook made significant changes to their system that further eroded what privacy and protection they provided to users.

  1. They took away the option that allowed you remove yourself from public search. This means that anyone on Facebook or indeed Google can do a search for you.
  2. They now allow anyone to send a message to any Facebook user. You don't have to be connected/friends with them.
  3. They introduced a new "poke" application that allows users to send anyone a message that self-deletes after a specified number of seconds.The Facebook Graph has powerful people search capabilities - it can such or anything within your profile including friends, about you etc.

 There are many reasons why Facebook is an issue for stalking victims.

A stalker is a bit like a gambler - every time they get a "win" it spurs them on. When it comes to a stalker a "win" is new information, a feeling of power and control from knowing everything about their victim, being able to manipulate the victim or friends and family, frightening or humiliating them, obsessing over all the information they've gathered. Every piece of new information feeds their obsession, makes them feel more powerful and encourages them to go further.

Some times what a victim puts on Facebook can act as a trigger. We have had women murdered in the UK for changing their status from "married" to "single" or after posting a picture of a new partner.

Your timeline provides a history of your online activity, and for many it goes back years. It gives a stalker a central source of information about you -a list of friends and family, who are close, pictures, what you like and dislike, your routine, where you work, who you've dated, your opinions etc. If you want to get to know about a person's life Facebook will provide enormous amount of information all in one place.

Facebook allows stalkers not just monitor the victim, but all those around the victim as well. A posting that says "I'm meeting

Jane for drinks tonight at the Swan" tells the stalker many things:

  • He knows Jane will be at the Swan. He can go watch her, spike her drink, and follow her home.
  • Jane will not be at home so the stalker can break into her home and send her a message by moving or stealing something, install listening devices or just wait for her.
  • Jane will be coming home having had a few drinks. He can wait for her, it will be easier to overpower her.


How to make Facebook safer

We get it you like Facebook but you're worried. This guide will help you understand the risks of using Facebook when you are a victim of stalking or ex-partner abuse. We will take you through step by step on how to change your settings increase your security, privacy and safety. 

  • Block the abuser - Some victims don't want to block the abuser because they feel better knowing what he is up to. That simply isn't true. The abuser knows you are following and watching him on Facebook. They will only put things on there he wants you to read. It may or may not be true. But what is true is that following your abuser is a way that he can continue to communicate and manipulate you - so block him.
  • Change the way you use Facebook. Think of it more like a TV channel. Watch what people post but don't put anything on your timeline. Instead use the one to one messaging. That way you can still keep up with everyone but not make your information available for everyone to see and not add to your time line.
How do I block someone and will they know?

How do I block someone and will they know?